What is marriage but a commitment of real love?: Some thoughts

Marriage is the real commitment of love; the problem is too many people have married for the wrong reasons, so now stupid people are scared to get married because they think that divorce is an inevitable result. In reality, most people don't know what real love is; it's not something that happens over and over again, and it's more than just friendship.

Every marriage needs sex and friendship; both are important communication tools. But sex has no meaning today, which is why it's lost its value as a communication tool; so people are, of course, more disconnected which makes marriage less attractive since it requires constant communication.

People living together get a sense of it, but the door's always open; a marriage is a closed door, which is why divorce is traumatic - because you don't just leave a marriage, you fight over things like property (house, cars, etc.), children, pets, material asssets, etc. When you leave a lived-in situation, it's the same as breaking up; yes, it hurts like shit, but it's easier to move on from that than an actual marriage. Some states in the U.S., though, recognize the lived-in situation as something like a marriage, which is why if you live together for x period of time, you can claim half of the material goods in the house if the relationship ends (just another reason to be careful when you decide to move in with someone).

So what does it take to be married? An honest search inside to find out who you are and what you want. It's recognizing that you feel as much passion as you do friendship for the person you're with. In the end, you have to be able to distinguish between the feelings that develop as a result of friendship and those for a spouse; real love isn't something you have to think about.

Love is and has always been a gift. If you believe in God, sometimes it's about learning a lesson (especially if you're someone who's destined to never marry), a reward (for those whose destiny was to serve others first), because your future child is meant for something (a link in a chain that leads to a great person or a great person him- or herself), etc. It's a feeling that takes up the whole core of who we are as individuals; you are never the same once you've been touched, and your heart will never close as a result.

Marriage isn't just a legal contract, but one with God (whatever your beliefs). What a marriage recognizes is that you are genuinely in love with each other and ready to give up anyone else (what we call fidelity, trust, etc.) and grow together through all of the twists and bends that come with re/discovering who you are (because we all change, and marriage includes the exercise of letting go).

In other words, marriage isn't just about two people. The ideals of marriage are what make it greater than any two people. But you have to know who you are first; if you're a mask even to yourself, your marriage will break, whether or not you stay together. Real love happens when both partners are completely naked with each other in the figurative sense. There also needs to be desire that extends beyond the physical; bodies age and change, but sex is communication between souls.

If you don't really love someone, yes, you're going to lose interest in sex. A marriage is more than friendship; if all you have is friendship, it's an unbalanced relationship, and that will lead to affairs, breakdowns in the relationship, etc. Communication is the most important part of a marriage, but 50% off it is sex. If you have to overthink what you're feeling, it's not love. If you really love someone, marriage is the inevitable end; otherwise you're just scared, or don't trust or know what you're feeling.